my weblog Rob's Adventures: http://mpgsadventures.blogspot.com .
It's a part of the learning process when living with a Thai guy and even more so when married with a Thai guy.
Uhum, and to be even more honest: its a damn interesting lesson to learn, for me as well as as for Kik!
Happy to say I feel we made real and good progress in that area!!
Enjoy reading and do not forget, read the article mentioned in it ;-)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Niet altijd even makkelijk.... of toch wel?
En dan heb ik het over hoe hier in Thailand en ook door Kik, aangekeken wordt als je iets beloofd te doen.
Voor hun/hem lijkt het wel dat beloven betekend dat je zal kijken of je het wel of niet gaat doen en dat het dan vervolgens dus afwachten wordt of het ook gebeurd of niet zoals afgesproken.
Anderzijds, als ik wat beloof, dan wordt ervan uitgegan dat ik het ook doe, althans..... is dat wel zo? Zo begin ik mij af te vragen....
Ook heeft het er mee te maken hoevel belang er aan wordt gehecht.
NU weet ik, nooit iets te snel beloven, of laten beloven... ik doe mijn best, maar het is moeilijk, zeker als je iets vraagd waarvan je gewoon weet dat dat veel beter is voor hem.
Maar de 'macht' van 'vrienden' is behoorlijk groot... ook al zal Kik zelf ook vrij makkelijk die ' ...' plaatsen.
Ik klaag niet hoor, weet wel zo'n beetje hoe het hier wat dat betreft an toe gaat inmiddels, maar het blijft geweldig moeilijk er mee om te gaan.
En het erge is, er wordt helemaal geen kwaad mee bedoeld of iets negatiefs.
Enfin, moest dit even kwijt............. anders ga ik me weer opwinden, zoals vanmorgen..... maar hij moet dan ook begrijpen, ooit hoop ik, dat dat gebeurd omdat ik mij juist zorgen maakte omdat hij er niet was zoals afgesproken en ook de telefoon niet aannam. Dat er van alles gebeurd had kunnen zijn, etc. Want het regent hier soms motor ongelukken en dat soort ongijn, en als men moe is en ook nog wat nuttigt, neemt de kans er op alleen maar toe.
En de ellende vervolgens de volgende ochtend om hem uit bed te krijgen om te doen wat gedaan moet orden........
Enfin, dit hoort er allemaal bij, bij het getrouwd zijn met een orginele Thaise vent, haha
Maar er zal ergens ene keer en soort compromis uit moeten vloeien, wil ik niet een keer met een hartverzakking komen te zitten ;-)
Voor hun/hem lijkt het wel dat beloven betekend dat je zal kijken of je het wel of niet gaat doen en dat het dan vervolgens dus afwachten wordt of het ook gebeurd of niet zoals afgesproken.
Anderzijds, als ik wat beloof, dan wordt ervan uitgegan dat ik het ook doe, althans..... is dat wel zo? Zo begin ik mij af te vragen....
Ook heeft het er mee te maken hoevel belang er aan wordt gehecht.
NU weet ik, nooit iets te snel beloven, of laten beloven... ik doe mijn best, maar het is moeilijk, zeker als je iets vraagd waarvan je gewoon weet dat dat veel beter is voor hem.
Maar de 'macht' van 'vrienden' is behoorlijk groot... ook al zal Kik zelf ook vrij makkelijk die ' ...' plaatsen.
Ik klaag niet hoor, weet wel zo'n beetje hoe het hier wat dat betreft an toe gaat inmiddels, maar het blijft geweldig moeilijk er mee om te gaan.
En het erge is, er wordt helemaal geen kwaad mee bedoeld of iets negatiefs.
Enfin, moest dit even kwijt............. anders ga ik me weer opwinden, zoals vanmorgen..... maar hij moet dan ook begrijpen, ooit hoop ik, dat dat gebeurd omdat ik mij juist zorgen maakte omdat hij er niet was zoals afgesproken en ook de telefoon niet aannam. Dat er van alles gebeurd had kunnen zijn, etc. Want het regent hier soms motor ongelukken en dat soort ongijn, en als men moe is en ook nog wat nuttigt, neemt de kans er op alleen maar toe.
En de ellende vervolgens de volgende ochtend om hem uit bed te krijgen om te doen wat gedaan moet orden........
Enfin, dit hoort er allemaal bij, bij het getrouwd zijn met een orginele Thaise vent, haha
Maar er zal ergens ene keer en soort compromis uit moeten vloeien, wil ik niet een keer met een hartverzakking komen te zitten ;-)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Bad Boy starts reporting again.... hopefull intention for 2009
OK, some friends from al over our little planet start complaining why I do not keep up the reporting on my two weblogs...... and well, in a way they are right. Simply because I have been silent for too long now.
Why? Simple: too busy, too occupied (lousy excuses, true) but also lousy internet connections, been very very tired and so allways the so called more important things got done first.......
My intention for 2009 is to better myself, to get more time for myself and time to rst and sit down also to learn Thai and type some reports about my married life with Kik.
One day it will be mostly flash backs over the period not reported yet, parts will be about present "trials and tribulations" of newlyweds.
Lets see if I an keep up my promise to better myself... but don't crucify me if I am not allways able to. Then think that I might also sufer from periods of tiredness, or simply being to pre occupied with all kinds of stuff here.because starting a new life here with Kik, is not easy... one foot in Thailand and the other in Holland. One place much easier but thats not possible for the time being ;-)
Why? Simple: too busy, too occupied (lousy excuses, true) but also lousy internet connections, been very very tired and so allways the so called more important things got done first.......
My intention for 2009 is to better myself, to get more time for myself and time to rst and sit down also to learn Thai and type some reports about my married life with Kik.
One day it will be mostly flash backs over the period not reported yet, parts will be about present "trials and tribulations" of newlyweds.
Lets see if I an keep up my promise to better myself... but don't crucify me if I am not allways able to. Then think that I might also sufer from periods of tiredness, or simply being to pre occupied with all kinds of stuff here.because starting a new life here with Kik, is not easy... one foot in Thailand and the other in Holland. One place much easier but thats not possible for the time being ;-)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Thai Wedding, the day finally arrived......
... and passed as quickly as it approached slowly but certainly!
You know how these things go. First one thinks one has all the time, time goes slowly, then in the last week you disover all that still needs to be done..and the closer you get to the date the more it seems that need to be taken care off. Everybody who organises special events knows about this and hence we (?) who learned this lesson tend to make a 'battle-plan' and seek solution in preparing in time and planning the involved finances and unforseen expenses as well.
Well, having said this, I looked in amasement to the preparations of the Thai wedding in Si Bun Ruang. Thai are excellent organisers of parties, they really enjoy a good party, but special events like a wedding........ thats different stuff, haha.
I saw the burden on Kik and the stress he had to endure. Because Kik knows a little bit about organising and planning but his family is not too used to such excersises. So, instead that Kik could enjoy the week before his weddingday in his hometown, he was busy trying to get everything organised as he had planned to in advance..... I got the impression a lot of 'repairs' were needed and interventions to make sure all went well.l
And I have to admit, the result was impressive!! Though my husband was deadtired after the 23d, I can vow to that allright!
Instead of what I was told beforehand, the big weddingparty took place the night before the actual wedding!
The whole front before the house of Kiks grandparents was cleared and a large, high stage was constructed in the corner of the front'garden'.
KIk had told me they expected around 450 of the 900 guests to turn up... which seems to be the usual % turnout... as it happened another "unforseen" tok place, namely a good 700+ turned up to take part, as well as the next morning, the wedding itself, a good 200 attended.incredible numbers which caused sweet Kik also headaches...because all Thai, including his family, looked at hime for guidance.
Not fair, one would comment, because he was not instrumental to this high turnout, but nonetheless, he was the one getting married to a farang, which means a caucasian non thai!
Another of his problems: a farang is allways considerd rich here...and how untrue that might be, thats how farang are looked at! Ergo, also the problems of the family, allays finacial are expected to be taken care of immidiaty by the new family-in-law.
Now such things do not need to be such a problem, at least for this farang, but with the international creditcrisis it suddenly was/is!
Poor KIk, he understood al to well, but seems that the people in and around his family had a harder time with that........ they simply do not seem to look further then their local news and problems;-)
Wel, all in all, the weddingday was more then succesfull, maybe too succesfull...but an unforgettable day it has been...whatever happened afterwards!
You know how these things go. First one thinks one has all the time, time goes slowly, then in the last week you disover all that still needs to be done..and the closer you get to the date the more it seems that need to be taken care off. Everybody who organises special events knows about this and hence we (?) who learned this lesson tend to make a 'battle-plan' and seek solution in preparing in time and planning the involved finances and unforseen expenses as well.
Well, having said this, I looked in amasement to the preparations of the Thai wedding in Si Bun Ruang. Thai are excellent organisers of parties, they really enjoy a good party, but special events like a wedding........ thats different stuff, haha.
I saw the burden on Kik and the stress he had to endure. Because Kik knows a little bit about organising and planning but his family is not too used to such excersises. So, instead that Kik could enjoy the week before his weddingday in his hometown, he was busy trying to get everything organised as he had planned to in advance..... I got the impression a lot of 'repairs' were needed and interventions to make sure all went well.l
And I have to admit, the result was impressive!! Though my husband was deadtired after the 23d, I can vow to that allright!
Instead of what I was told beforehand, the big weddingparty took place the night before the actual wedding!
The whole front before the house of Kiks grandparents was cleared and a large, high stage was constructed in the corner of the front'garden'.
KIk had told me they expected around 450 of the 900 guests to turn up... which seems to be the usual % turnout... as it happened another "unforseen" tok place, namely a good 700+ turned up to take part, as well as the next morning, the wedding itself, a good 200 attended.incredible numbers which caused sweet Kik also headaches...because all Thai, including his family, looked at hime for guidance.
Not fair, one would comment, because he was not instrumental to this high turnout, but nonetheless, he was the one getting married to a farang, which means a caucasian non thai!
Another of his problems: a farang is allways considerd rich here...and how untrue that might be, thats how farang are looked at! Ergo, also the problems of the family, allays finacial are expected to be taken care of immidiaty by the new family-in-law.
Now such things do not need to be such a problem, at least for this farang, but with the international creditcrisis it suddenly was/is!
Poor KIk, he understood al to well, but seems that the people in and around his family had a harder time with that........ they simply do not seem to look further then their local news and problems;-)
Wel, all in all, the weddingday was more then succesfull, maybe too succesfull...but an unforgettable day it has been...whatever happened afterwards!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Latest news: Didi will also be attending our Thai Wedding!!
My/our dog Didi will now also attend our weding in Si Bun Ruang.
A dear friend of Kik, and a great doglover and breeder will take care of her while travelling with the bus from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang. So, Didi will be the 5th present at our wedding who was also at uour Dutch wedding in Delft!!
(The other 4? haha Kik, me, Els and Floor)
I hope that Didi will not cause too much problems while on the bus, but I could not let her suffer another trip by airplane if its not absolutly necessary!
A dear friend of Kik, and a great doglover and breeder will take care of her while travelling with the bus from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang. So, Didi will be the 5th present at our wedding who was also at uour Dutch wedding in Delft!!
(The other 4? haha Kik, me, Els and Floor)
I hope that Didi will not cause too much problems while on the bus, but I could not let her suffer another trip by airplane if its not absolutly necessary!
Logistics, another detail of our Thai wedding ... or one of Kiks nightmares?
Once I arrive in Bangkok on the 18th I’ll be happily busy
There I’ll meet some of the friends from abroad coming to attend our Thai wedding.
Now do not think in large numbers, its a humble presence but a presence for which I am very gratefull!!
A dear old friend of my mother, Ferry, announced he would attend, he is now living in Bangkok since a good part of this year and will arrive in Udon by train on the 22d. Then we have a dear friend from Australia, Don, who announced his intention to attend and I will meet him in Bangkok on the 18th or 19th. Kik and I met him and his long time partner Mike at Club OneSeven last year as well as this year end March/April and enjoyed some really good time and friendship! He is saidly travelling alone because of al the financial uncertainties right now. But we are both gratefull for the effort to be present at our weddingceremony. As he said he would represent all our Australian friends!
And then we have two dear and long time friends from Holland, Floor and Els, who will arrive at Bangkoks International Airprort on the 20th. I will try to meet them at the airport myself and they will travell to Udon on the 21st by plane.
I myself will fly out to Udon on the 21st......
The collection of these friends when they start to arrive in Udon is something which needs co-ordination on Kiks part because he needs to direct the respectieve famillymembers and friends to drive out to the airport, which is a roughly 2 hours drive from his hometown.
People are travelling to Si Bun Ruang from all over Thailand and Laos as well for our wedding. But I only know more about those travelling from Phuket:
From Simon Cabaret a 9 person strong delegation of Kiks closest friends there will travell roughly 20 hours by buscoach from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang in North East Thailand. As I understood, more would have liked to come as well, but then the shows of Simon Cabaret might get compromissen and that is something not even considered for when the country is in national mourning!
They will be joined by the staff & friends of our bar(s) here in Patong Phuket and together they wil fill one busload of 24!
If one realises that this now one day affair requires the people from Phuket to take 5/6 days off from work, simply because of the time involved traveling up and donw the country in a buscoach! They will, by the way, also act as my family on our weddingday! Cool huh?!
Next to the Phuket delegation, also a delegation of 30 will come from Bangkok. Some I probably met in the last two years while being in Bangkok with Kik, but I will discover on the 22d/23d whom I met before, haha..... it wil be a colorfull event. Thats for sure!!
But all these people, and then I am not writing here about family and friends from Kik from Laos, because those are also coming, need a place to sleep, to eat before and after the weddingday itself... that all needs to be taken care off by Kik and his family.
So transportkation, sleepingaccomodations and food and drinks for I do not know howmany people need to be organised......
Watching all of this, I am simply happy that things are much more simple in Holland. And to think that Kik never expected to have to organise his own wedding, simply because that possibility never entered his mind before..... so never thought about it before!
Next to the transport challenge of all these guests, and their food, drinks and sleeping arrangement, there is ofcourse the day itself.......the 23d of November!
There I’ll meet some of the friends from abroad coming to attend our Thai wedding.
Now do not think in large numbers, its a humble presence but a presence for which I am very gratefull!!
A dear old friend of my mother, Ferry, announced he would attend, he is now living in Bangkok since a good part of this year and will arrive in Udon by train on the 22d. Then we have a dear friend from Australia, Don, who announced his intention to attend and I will meet him in Bangkok on the 18th or 19th. Kik and I met him and his long time partner Mike at Club OneSeven last year as well as this year end March/April and enjoyed some really good time and friendship! He is saidly travelling alone because of al the financial uncertainties right now. But we are both gratefull for the effort to be present at our weddingceremony. As he said he would represent all our Australian friends!
And then we have two dear and long time friends from Holland, Floor and Els, who will arrive at Bangkoks International Airprort on the 20th. I will try to meet them at the airport myself and they will travell to Udon on the 21st by plane.
I myself will fly out to Udon on the 21st......
The collection of these friends when they start to arrive in Udon is something which needs co-ordination on Kiks part because he needs to direct the respectieve famillymembers and friends to drive out to the airport, which is a roughly 2 hours drive from his hometown.
People are travelling to Si Bun Ruang from all over Thailand and Laos as well for our wedding. But I only know more about those travelling from Phuket:
From Simon Cabaret a 9 person strong delegation of Kiks closest friends there will travell roughly 20 hours by buscoach from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang in North East Thailand. As I understood, more would have liked to come as well, but then the shows of Simon Cabaret might get compromissen and that is something not even considered for when the country is in national mourning!
They will be joined by the staff & friends of our bar(s) here in Patong Phuket and together they wil fill one busload of 24!
If one realises that this now one day affair requires the people from Phuket to take 5/6 days off from work, simply because of the time involved traveling up and donw the country in a buscoach! They will, by the way, also act as my family on our weddingday! Cool huh?!
Next to the Phuket delegation, also a delegation of 30 will come from Bangkok. Some I probably met in the last two years while being in Bangkok with Kik, but I will discover on the 22d/23d whom I met before, haha..... it wil be a colorfull event. Thats for sure!!
But all these people, and then I am not writing here about family and friends from Kik from Laos, because those are also coming, need a place to sleep, to eat before and after the weddingday itself... that all needs to be taken care off by Kik and his family.
So transportkation, sleepingaccomodations and food and drinks for I do not know howmany people need to be organised......
Watching all of this, I am simply happy that things are much more simple in Holland. And to think that Kik never expected to have to organise his own wedding, simply because that possibility never entered his mind before..... so never thought about it before!
Next to the transport challenge of all these guests, and their food, drinks and sleeping arrangement, there is ofcourse the day itself.......the 23d of November!
Kiks weddingjitters.....
Well, after my ‘ordeal’ before the 8th of October Dutch wedding, I now see how Kik is dealing with the preparations our Thai wedding! And I feel so sorry for him, specially because I can not support him because I am unaware of all the custos involved for a proper and correct organisator of the weddingceremony and party.
Like Kik didn’t want too much involvement with our Dutch weding because of lack of knowing what can and can not be done, I now take same position for same reason.
Ofcourse, like Kik, I now only try to support him as good as I can.
But what is planned sofar, as far as I know and understand from what Kik explained to me?
Originally the idear was to have a pre-weddingparty at Kiks hometown on the eve before the 23d, but, properly to Kiks relief, his Bhuddist Master in Bangkok adviced differently and so now we will have the weddingceremony on the 23d as planed and only a weddingparty afterwards on the same day.
Kik tried to keep it a somewhat ‘small’ affair for Thai standards, I know, but as far as I understood from him, he is quite unable to keep it ‘small’. Kik has ben surprissed about all the phonecalls he has been receiving since we returned to Thailand and even more when he came back from his retreat in Temple ( Monastry) in preparathion of our Thai wedding.
All this, combined with some post election troubles to take care off , made Kik deceide to return to his home town near Udon Thani on the 14th this month, after just having been home, here in Patong, for 3 days!
So he needed to go back to Si Bun Ruang to be able to fully focus on the weddingceremony and party.
Its also pretty hard to deal with a starting business and organising this wedding so we decided to split up again and Kik went back to Si Bun Ruang while I stay on in Patong Phuket and will follow on the 18th when I go to Bangkok to meet with weddingguests there, before I follow to Udon on the 21st!
When Kik arrived back to Patong bringing back a new set of weddingclothes, he also announced a total different set of clothes will be made for us for the weddingparty afterwards... so a little surprised I tried on my set , chanmpagne white Thai silk with delicate light blue accents, I realised thats just fro a couple of hours, haha. He also showed me the design for the weddingparty clothes, which wil be much more fantasy clothes because Kik enjoys showing his theater background. So I guess with time our clothes wil grow more extravagant on the 23d!
I also understood that tables will be set up for a minimum of 400 guests for drinks and food. And I learned that not everybody will be present same time... and that makes it maybe a little bit more easy for him.... or not?
Then all the guests need to get a small souvenir from our wedding..... He told me that he ordered around 700, believing that not verbod needed to get one, couples might do with one... well, am so curious to how all will go!!
Then there’s the music....
But most scared I am about what was announced by Kik just before our Dutch wedding, that I am supposed to sing something in Thai or any other langzame for these guests, well... once I start I hope they wil not run away... it has been a while since I last managed to sing a proper sounding song and could keep myself to the lyrics.... so I pray that I have eenoog inspiration and daring to produce something decent when the time is there to do my duty akkoorden to Isaan tradition!
Kik and I are now in daily contact with eachother and while talking on the phone I try to be as supportive as I can be........
And our new business, while they have to wait till after the wedding..... right now its closed anyway for 3 days due to a three day national mourning on the ocasion of the burial of the Kings elder sister in Bangkok, and it wil also be closed for 5/6 days due to our wedding.... so November will be a more or les lost month anyway from that point of view!
Like Kik didn’t want too much involvement with our Dutch weding because of lack of knowing what can and can not be done, I now take same position for same reason.
Ofcourse, like Kik, I now only try to support him as good as I can.
But what is planned sofar, as far as I know and understand from what Kik explained to me?
Originally the idear was to have a pre-weddingparty at Kiks hometown on the eve before the 23d, but, properly to Kiks relief, his Bhuddist Master in Bangkok adviced differently and so now we will have the weddingceremony on the 23d as planed and only a weddingparty afterwards on the same day.
Kik tried to keep it a somewhat ‘small’ affair for Thai standards, I know, but as far as I understood from him, he is quite unable to keep it ‘small’. Kik has ben surprissed about all the phonecalls he has been receiving since we returned to Thailand and even more when he came back from his retreat in Temple ( Monastry) in preparathion of our Thai wedding.
All this, combined with some post election troubles to take care off , made Kik deceide to return to his home town near Udon Thani on the 14th this month, after just having been home, here in Patong, for 3 days!
So he needed to go back to Si Bun Ruang to be able to fully focus on the weddingceremony and party.
Its also pretty hard to deal with a starting business and organising this wedding so we decided to split up again and Kik went back to Si Bun Ruang while I stay on in Patong Phuket and will follow on the 18th when I go to Bangkok to meet with weddingguests there, before I follow to Udon on the 21st!
When Kik arrived back to Patong bringing back a new set of weddingclothes, he also announced a total different set of clothes will be made for us for the weddingparty afterwards... so a little surprised I tried on my set , chanmpagne white Thai silk with delicate light blue accents, I realised thats just fro a couple of hours, haha. He also showed me the design for the weddingparty clothes, which wil be much more fantasy clothes because Kik enjoys showing his theater background. So I guess with time our clothes wil grow more extravagant on the 23d!
I also understood that tables will be set up for a minimum of 400 guests for drinks and food. And I learned that not everybody will be present same time... and that makes it maybe a little bit more easy for him.... or not?
Then all the guests need to get a small souvenir from our wedding..... He told me that he ordered around 700, believing that not verbod needed to get one, couples might do with one... well, am so curious to how all will go!!
Then there’s the music....
But most scared I am about what was announced by Kik just before our Dutch wedding, that I am supposed to sing something in Thai or any other langzame for these guests, well... once I start I hope they wil not run away... it has been a while since I last managed to sing a proper sounding song and could keep myself to the lyrics.... so I pray that I have eenoog inspiration and daring to produce something decent when the time is there to do my duty akkoorden to Isaan tradition!
Kik and I are now in daily contact with eachother and while talking on the phone I try to be as supportive as I can be........
And our new business, while they have to wait till after the wedding..... right now its closed anyway for 3 days due to a three day national mourning on the ocasion of the burial of the Kings elder sister in Bangkok, and it wil also be closed for 5/6 days due to our wedding.... so November will be a more or les lost month anyway from that point of view!
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