We verhuizen / we move ;-)

After 9 months of absolute peace and quite, with no entries from me on my weblogs, I promised myself to change all that again by Easter 2010. And thats exactly what it is right now: Easter 2010!
My old weblogs will ofcourse remain as my 'archive' here. So, the weblog you are now reading, as well as Rob's Adventures will be merged into one new weblog, named Siam-Dutch Adventures.
Old names have their attraction, ergo Siam, as Thailands old name, was chosen by Kik to express, in combination with "Dutch" , who we are. Also it expresses for him how much he enjoys and refers to the classical Thai cullltur.

So, from tomorrow onwards I will start making entries again, but then on Siam-Dutch Adventures.
My entries will be most of the time in English, except if they concern typical Dutch affairs or comments on things happening in The Netherlands. If though you are curious, and you are a non dutch speaker, please feel free to ask for a translation or summary... but in moderation ;-)

So, hopefully till you read me soon again, but then on Siam-Dutch Adventures!!

Just to remember you all of all the 3 weblogs you can visit:

And so, for your pleasure, enjoyment, or what ever I hereby give the 3 weblogs again in which at least every week a contribution of my hand is entered in either one, two or all three of them ;-)

If you are interested in specefic entries in one or more weblogs, I learned that you can become a "follower" of that weblog, and so one will automatically get informed if an entry is made in that specefic weblog.

Every weblog allows me also to enter 10 persons who wil automatically get informed about an entry in that weblog. I tried to put some names, emaildresses in there of whom I tohught that they for sure would be interested. If emailadress If, when you are one of them, but prefer to find out yourself about new entries, please let me know and I will remove you from that very exclusive little list, hehe

www.mpgsadventures.blogspot.com

Which is about Robs adventures. Some entries though are in Dutch here... and if one is interested as non dutch speaking/reading person, then you can ask me about it ;-)

www.thaidutchmarriage.blogspot.com

Which is mainly about things having to do with the preparations, the weddings and the marriage of me with Kik... my entries here are somewhat irregular but nonetheless at times they give a good insight in some of the problems and joys we have to deal with ;-)

www.jbbarpatongphuket.blogspot.com

last but not least, this weblog is about our bar, which is temporary closed till we have found a new lokation. Hopefullly before the new high season starts (at least thats how it will be officially called but most sadly it will probably just be an improvement of the lowseason this year)

And please feel free to react or to ask me to enter stories about specific subject if and when you so like!

Okay, enjoy, have fun and above all stay healthy in every respect!!! ;-)

family addition, maybe crazy... or just a healthy hing to do, at least it brings smiles back on our faces ;-)

Left: Mwoi, with the newest familymember on my lap, Mulan....

The other day I got a message from a Thai friend of mine who had run into a abandoned puppy and after having tried to take care of it himsel;f, he could not.... his employer did not want a dog around his hotel where my friend works and sleeps.
So, knowing that we had Didi, he asked me if we would be willing to take in this puppy because he was afraid for its safety if he would turn her out on the streets again.

Okay I said, in that case I like to meet the little one and also have the puppy meet Didi, because I do not like any problems or discomfert for Didi when we would take in a new dog.
So we agreed and ofcourse: we fell in love allmost on the spot with the little one, and Didi was pretty okay with her as well (its a she, so hence me calling her "her" all the time).

So, after Kik agreed as well, and Didi didn't seem to object, we decided to take her in... and so now our adventure has started with Mulan.
Sofar all goes well and she seems pretty well behaved sofar as well (touch wood though, haha)

But isn't she a sweety when you see her like that on my lap??

So now its Kik and me, and Didi and Mulan ...

Our Thai Dutch marriage in heavy financial weather.... or storm??

Left: Homecomming to a green, instead of a blue pool, consequence of an electricitybill not payed.....

Living, and even more so, being married to a Thai I now conclude is an 'artform' which one has to learn. And like all good art, it doesn't come easy, or cheap for that matter!
Living with Kik is not what one can call dull or boring, contrary.... allways there's a surprise, the unexpected popping up and often (or too often?) it is of a financial caracter.

We in the western world, as I call the world were I come from, have quite different rules to live by as the Thai seem to have. Different attitudes, different value of money.
On the one hand money is extremely important in Thai society. It gives one status no matter allmost where the money comes from or how it as been obtained. On the other hand Thai are very easy and are lacks with money, when they have it most Thai spend it and they do not worry too much about the futur. Most Thai also have land which will and often can provide for them as well. It changes when one gets sick ofcourse or some accident befalls on them... then, when one doesn't have enough money things can turn awkward here. Or when one does business with the wrong people, the trouble looms big as well.

For us in the west, money is also important, but be we deal with it in a different way. We learn how to plan our expenses and how rto take care of eventualities which can happen to all of us. Hence most of us, specially when Dutch, are often over insured, when we travell, or back home, we like to be covered against most what could happen to us if we fall on some bad luck.
Also money is often a dangerpit in/for every relationship, married or not.

Now, when two people from two such different cultures and attitudes towards money start living together these issues will ofcourse surface and pretty soon as welll.
With Kik and me it is no exception ofcourse.

Kik and I also have to deal with the 'problem' that we both have difficulty saying "no" when we are asked for help by our loved ones.
Kik has also an added burden in that respect, that his cultur dictates that he takes care of some familymembers or at least contributes to it. Ergo, if something bad happens to them he will go to allmost any length to help them in any way he can.
We in the west have a somewhat more tougher way of dealing with these situations. We also see it as the responsibility of the one getting in that particular situation.... which by all reason and purprose is what we learn. We learn that we have to take responsibility for our own actions and can not allways fall back on demanding help from our children or parents.
That we have to learn how to plan our money for instance to avoid moneyproblems, etc.
In Thai society, and specially that of North East Thailand, were Kik's roots are, questions like that are not asked but help is given regardles... also regardless for what it means for oneself.

We in the west will go pretty far to stay behind/support our husbands/wives, because in our way of thinking we are closest to easchother then anything else, often even closer then our own blood family. ourr partner has to be able to rely on you, to be and feel safe with you and ofcourse as partner you do your utmost and go as far as you need to, to help your partner.

Now, these different views were not unknown to me and I knew it would cost me some before I would get the hang of it to better control the finances, part of 'learning on the job' so to speak ;-)

Now, also other things have happened since we got married last year October/November: First of all the worldwide Economic/financial crisis. Second the politicol turmoil here in Thailand culminating in the occupation the the big international airports here as well as the ending by riots of the ASEAN conferance. And well, due to these actions of two warring political groups here in Thailand,the instability of the present Thai politics have come very loud and clear to wwworldwide attention. So much that most western and asians countries are warning their citizens to be carefull to go to Thailand or at least thnik twice or three times before going on holiday here (in itself I believe these warnings are not justified except maybe for 2 or 3 small parts of Bangkok). This mixture has for one given the Thai tourism industry a relative more heavy blow then the rest of South East Asia.
Also the Thai like to present everything as positive as they can and as such they manage to be surprised (the general population for sure) when things suddenly go bad and people loose jobs etc..... then Thai society seems to get hit harder then other ones do.
For us westerners this is a strange thing to wittness aaaaand we can't help but feel sorry for these people here because of that. But one can not change the habit of a cultur. A cultur by the way which also has a lot of positive things in it from which we could learn a lot ;-)

Then also things in my homecountry went different as we expected when we started our life together. The financial & economic crisis also hit home hard there and the selling of my house was cancelled at last moment by prospective buyers due to all the negative economic publications in the media. At that time (october/november 2008 the media turned the financial crisis in such a hype that it spread widly outsite its original limits and turned it into a global, all sections of life hitting crisis, simply because of the basic nature of men to financial conservatism in times of potential and actual criisis, at least thats my humble opinion as I have also expressed earlier in my other weblog) I had allready committed us to renting a house in patong Beach where also my dog was allowed to live and we had enough space for ourselfs as well as Mac aaand one guestroom. I had forgotten to investigate beforehand the acceptance of dogs in condominiums etc of dogs and I discovered that they were not allowed anywhere as well as in most houses... ergo I was forced to rent a somewhat more expensive house, with a swimmingpol though, where the owner declared that he had no problems with our dog. Well, one has or doesn't has a dog but when one has one, one has to except the consequences and simply can not abandon a dog because of dddifficulty renting a decent place... well, at least thats how I feel about it as I believe most dogowners would agree too ;-)

Kik's family, and as such Kik as well, was in that same period confronted with the loosing of the election by his grandfather, the pater familias of the family early November. Now loosing an election in the west is not to big of a problem in itself, but here in Thailand one has to invest a lot of his own money into it ddue to the system here. And I discovered that when one looses, one realy looses and from one on the other day one looses credit, all ones money because all the outstanding bills have to be payed by the candidate who lost, etc. Loosing face is not an option in Thailand for allmost everybody and one can gues, the whole family was asked to help out.

On my part I didn't feel much for solving these problems, simply because of the situation back home and making us incapable of building a decent life ourselfs....... now for us westerners a pretty logic stand but absoluutly not for a Thai, specially one embedded in the Thai cultur like Kik..........
well, as a consequence I discovered the creativity with which Thai can come up with all kinds of things to get you to come up with money here and there for this and that, simply because the family is (temporarily) somewhat broke because of al of this..ergo, slowly one starts to 'bleed' more and more.... and before one knows one might 'bleed' too much, and like with real blood, one needs a minimum of blood to stay behind to make enough new blood to keep everything functioning!

Well, all this mixture taken together has caused Kik and me to have landed in a somewhat awkward situation .

Kik lacks of understanding of what I wrote above, and tried to explain in lots of different ways, combined with alll the other things mentioned above, made my return here to Thailand somewhat different then I expected and planned.
A big, mainly financial mess was what I found which I had absolutly no choice but to solve to the best of my abillities without crushing us in the process. If I managed or manage, only the fuuutur will tell.

Kik now seems finally to understand that our ability to go to an ATM machine (or as we Dutch say 'flappentap') has its consequences and that the partner can not go on and on and on to suply whatever they need because the suppply is rather limited and one needs money to make money (one needs blood to make new blood).

This inability to understand and/or take serious my soft and strong signals and talks before and while in Holland in May/June caused additional problems partly allready mentioned.

I, on my part have learnd that I also need to adjust my attitude and let go of the 21st century way of western thinking of the functioning of a relationship and have to look more to how things went in the 19th and early 20th century in our western world when one looks how marriages dealt with such issues. A pretty big and rather difficult shift for a liberal person like me. But when I left Holland for Thailand again, I had allready decided to adopt this other way at looking at this part of our marriage, knowing it would be hard and pretty much against my nature............. But then again at that moment I didn't know yet what had happened here in Patong/Thailand during my total of 6 weeks beeing away.
What can happen when your Thai partner gets into a panick and you are not arround.....

Ergo, these last 3 weeks have not been a party, or fun but rather very stressfull!! It is no fun if one discoveres one is forced to walk a very tight rope indeed!! And it will cloud the comming months ahead, if not longer.....

And now we struggle how to get our affairs, which looked pretty good at the start, back in ordfer again.
It is pretty hard to do that I can assure you all. And it puts a lot of strain on us in the same time!

Two different ways of thinking, two cultures!
if we manage to combine the best of our two worlds we wil survive and grow stronger out of it all then we now may feel and see, if not.... well we cross that bridge when we are forced to cross it.;-)

Feel free to let me know your feedback or own experiences. Life is, and has allways been, one big fascinating school, we all hope to finish with some level of succes, so we take in as much as we can to learn and better ourselfs ;-)

Behold

Today, latest tomorrow I will start again by keeping all of you updated again about what is happening with me/us, or what I am experiencing..... or unasked for opinions about what is happening in Thailand/Holland or elsewhere. and influencing our marriage ofocurse ;-)
These last weeks I have been silent, mainly because I was back in The Netherlands for 6 weeks and totally occupied there.
So, in these comming days one might find stories here going back to some of the things I (and me & Kik) experienced back in Holland, respectivly experiencing now here in Phuket.
In due time I also hope to enlighten them with some pictures as well ;-)

So, see you soon again!

Mac!..and education pffff ;-)

Picture: Kik and Mac backstage at Simons!

As most readers of this blog might now, Mac is, as they call it here our 'son' or 'student' (fosterchild, whatever).
Mac stays with his grandparents in Si Bun Ruang and is spending his 'summerholliday' here before a new year starts at his school back in Si Bun Ruang, North East Thailand.
I must admit, his arrival, accompanied by his grandfather, 2 uncles (of which one was kiks father), an aunt (Kiks stephmother) and nephew (who only stayed roughly 24 hours before driving all the way back again!), caused quite a change in our daily routine.
Its a gem though to have around, I can assure you that! he's as stuborn as Kik, by the way as most Thai are and in just as a polite way as everyone else, haha.

Ofcourse I would like to have him here all the time, to have him go to school here as well.... but that seems to be an impossibility to my surprise! I would like Mac to enter the international school here on Phuket, so he gets a good education, and not only in English ;-) In general when one manages to finish International School, one can enter any other higher education anywhere in the world and so makes oneself stand out and as such create much better chances on advancing oneself in life as a whole. That in itself would also benefit the family in a constructive way for the long term.
Now it seems very hard to convince the family that that should be the way to do things, specially when a boy is still 13 years old. At that age one learns simply much easier... the older one gets the harder it becomes... as we all know I think ;-)

Now Kik tries to explain to me that such can not be, that he has to finish his first period of 3 years at his school before he can change to anywhere else and that also the Abbot of the monastry near Si Bun Ruang syas it would be much better for mac to stay there in the countryside of North East Thailand. And this Abbot ofcourse is a waise, much respected and all knowing figur in the community of Kiks 'homecountry' (thats how Thai describein English the area/province where they come from within Thailand.
Ofcourse I disagree!
I believe, as most of us 'farang' would, that the earlier one starts the best education one can get, the better it is, specially if it involves also the learning of a foreign language! The more chances of advancement one can realise in futur life.

When I look for instance to Jeroen, my godson, who, by the way, is getting married next month (by me!!!) I realise that he has much better chances on life than lots of contemporaries who got their basic education in their home country The Netherlands. Ofcourse getting these advantages doesn't guarantee a good endresult, only the chance of a good one increases. And for sure that's the case when one lives here in Thailand.

Whatever direction Mac would like to take with his education, I would really like him to get the best chances and opportunities.
Not sure though I will succeed in convincing his/my Thai family about this....
after all, its a pretty stubborn people ;-)

Writersblock?!

These last weeks when driving home from/to the bar or other places I often think of my weblogs and subjects to write about. I also formulate whole little stories to tell about what is happening here, or with me and/or Kik etc..... but then when back home distraction hits from all corners and before I know it I simply forgot what I wanted to write or report about. From funny things, to the more serious, including frustrations as a "farang" (= foreigner) in for me a strange country, culture etc. ....
Stupid in a way because it is hard to follow and make reading my weblogs decent on once list of things one likes to do!

I hereby apologise to all who tok the trouble to look regular into one of my 3 weblogs and not finding new entries in them, time and time again.
But I simply do not like to give up, not on you who read them, and not on myself wanting to report my troubles and tribulations, as me, as in my marriage as well as with the bar and all that goes with it.
So again I made a whole list of subjects I should tackle and write about... sofar 27 in total.
Now you would say: good show, finally.... well I can only say, making that list is easier then executing writing about all these subjects.
Well, those who know me now I can be a stuborn guy........ so lets how that that stuborness will come to something in this case of reporting more regular.
Receiving feedback, questions, etc. wil be very much appreciated ofcourse!!

IMPORTANT: If you like to know when a new entry is published, you can become a follower of the weblog you like to follow. May it be this blog or one or both other blogs as well.....it seems to be very easy to do and one doesn't need to go to my weblogs everytime to see if a new entry has been posted. Very easy and handy for those interested!!
My other weblogs are:
www.thaidutchmarriage.blogspot.com
www.mpgsadventures.blogspot.com

Also, a few people have been entered by me so they get an e-mail of every new entry in one of my weblogs. Please, if you do not like this, feel free to let me know and I'll remove your e-mail from this exclusive little list, I won't hold it against you ;-)

Greetings and please keep me focussed when I stay silent to long!!

Rob

Read also my last entry in ......

my weblog Rob's Adventures: http://mpgsadventures.blogspot.com .

It's a part of the learning process when living with a Thai guy and even more so when married with a Thai guy.
Uhum, and to be even more honest: its a damn interesting lesson to learn, for me as well as as for Kik!
Happy to say I feel we made real and good progress in that area!!

Enjoy reading and do not forget, read the article mentioned in it ;-)

Niet altijd even makkelijk.... of toch wel?

En dan heb ik het over hoe hier in Thailand en ook door Kik, aangekeken wordt als je iets beloofd te doen.
Voor hun/hem lijkt het wel dat beloven betekend dat je zal kijken of je het wel of niet gaat doen en dat het dan vervolgens dus afwachten wordt of het ook gebeurd of niet zoals afgesproken.
Anderzijds, als ik wat beloof, dan wordt ervan uitgegan dat ik het ook doe, althans..... is dat wel zo? Zo begin ik mij af te vragen....
Ook heeft het er mee te maken hoevel belang er aan wordt gehecht.

NU weet ik, nooit iets te snel beloven, of laten beloven... ik doe mijn best, maar het is moeilijk, zeker als je iets vraagd waarvan je gewoon weet dat dat veel beter is voor hem.
Maar de 'macht' van 'vrienden' is behoorlijk groot... ook al zal Kik zelf ook vrij makkelijk die ' ...' plaatsen.

Ik klaag niet hoor, weet wel zo'n beetje hoe het hier wat dat betreft an toe gaat inmiddels, maar het blijft geweldig moeilijk er mee om te gaan.
En het erge is, er wordt helemaal geen kwaad mee bedoeld of iets negatiefs.

Enfin, moest dit even kwijt............. anders ga ik me weer opwinden, zoals vanmorgen..... maar hij moet dan ook begrijpen, ooit hoop ik, dat dat gebeurd omdat ik mij juist zorgen maakte omdat hij er niet was zoals afgesproken en ook de telefoon niet aannam. Dat er van alles gebeurd had kunnen zijn, etc. Want het regent hier soms motor ongelukken en dat soort ongijn, en als men moe is en ook nog wat nuttigt, neemt de kans er op alleen maar toe.

En de ellende vervolgens de volgende ochtend om hem uit bed te krijgen om te doen wat gedaan moet orden........

Enfin, dit hoort er allemaal bij, bij het getrouwd zijn met een orginele Thaise vent, haha

Maar er zal ergens ene keer en soort compromis uit moeten vloeien, wil ik niet een keer met een hartverzakking komen te zitten ;-)

Bad Boy starts reporting again.... hopefull intention for 2009

OK, some friends from al over our little planet start complaining why I do not keep up the reporting on my two weblogs...... and well, in a way they are right. Simply because I have been silent for too long now.
Why? Simple: too busy, too occupied (lousy excuses, true) but also lousy internet connections, been very very tired and so allways the so called more important things got done first.......
My intention for 2009 is to better myself, to get more time for myself and time to rst and sit down also to learn Thai and type some reports about my married life with Kik.
One day it will be mostly flash backs over the period not reported yet, parts will be about present "trials and tribulations" of newlyweds.
Lets see if I an keep up my promise to better myself... but don't crucify me if I am not allways able to. Then think that I might also sufer from periods of tiredness, or simply being to pre occupied with all kinds of stuff here.because starting a new life here with Kik, is not easy... one foot in Thailand and the other in Holland. One place much easier but thats not possible for the time being ;-)

The Thai Wedding, the day finally arrived......

... and passed as quickly as it approached slowly but certainly!
You know how these things go. First one thinks one has all the time, time goes slowly, then in the last week you disover all that still needs to be done..and the closer you get to the date the more it seems that need to be taken care off. Everybody who organises special events knows about this and hence we (?) who learned this lesson tend to make a 'battle-plan' and seek solution in preparing in time and planning the involved finances and unforseen expenses as well.

Well, having said this, I looked in amasement to the preparations of the Thai wedding in Si Bun Ruang. Thai are excellent organisers of parties, they really enjoy a good party, but special events like a wedding........ thats different stuff, haha.
I saw the burden on Kik and the stress he had to endure. Because Kik knows a little bit about organising and planning but his family is not too used to such excersises. So, instead that Kik could enjoy the week before his weddingday in his hometown, he was busy trying to get everything organised as he had planned to in advance..... I got the impression a lot of 'repairs' were needed and interventions to make sure all went well.l
And I have to admit, the result was impressive!! Though my husband was deadtired after the 23d, I can vow to that allright!

Instead of what I was told beforehand, the big weddingparty took place the night before the actual wedding!
The whole front before the house of Kiks grandparents was cleared and a large, high stage was constructed in the corner of the front'garden'.
KIk had told me they expected around 450 of the 900 guests to turn up... which seems to be the usual % turnout... as it happened another "unforseen" tok place, namely a good 700+ turned up to take part, as well as the next morning, the wedding itself, a good 200 attended.incredible numbers which caused sweet Kik also headaches...because all Thai, including his family, looked at hime for guidance.
Not fair, one would comment, because he was not instrumental to this high turnout, but nonetheless, he was the one getting married to a farang, which means a caucasian non thai!
Another of his problems: a farang is allways considerd rich here...and how untrue that might be, thats how farang are looked at! Ergo, also the problems of the family, allays finacial are expected to be taken care of immidiaty by the new family-in-law.
Now such things do not need to be such a problem, at least for this farang, but with the international creditcrisis it suddenly was/is!
Poor KIk, he understood al to well, but seems that the people in and around his family had a harder time with that........ they simply do not seem to look further then their local news and problems;-)
Wel, all in all, the weddingday was more then succesfull, maybe too succesfull...but an unforgettable day it has been...whatever happened afterwards!

Latest news: Didi will also be attending our Thai Wedding!!

My/our dog Didi will now also attend our weding in Si Bun Ruang.
A dear friend of Kik, and a great doglover and breeder will take care of her while travelling with the bus from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang. So, Didi will be the 5th present at our wedding who was also at uour Dutch wedding in Delft!!
(The other 4? haha Kik, me, Els and Floor)
I hope that Didi will not cause too much problems while on the bus, but I could not let her suffer another trip by airplane if its not absolutly necessary!

Logistics, another detail of our Thai wedding ... or one of Kiks nightmares?

Once I arrive in Bangkok on the 18th I’ll be happily busy
There I’ll meet some of the friends from abroad coming to attend our Thai wedding.
Now do not think in large numbers, its a humble presence but a presence for which I am very gratefull!!
A dear old friend of my mother, Ferry, announced he would attend, he is now living in Bangkok since a good part of this year and will arrive in Udon by train on the 22d. Then we have a dear friend from Australia, Don, who announced his intention to attend and I will meet him in Bangkok on the 18th or 19th. Kik and I met him and his long time partner Mike at Club OneSeven last year as well as this year end March/April and enjoyed some really good time and friendship! He is saidly travelling alone because of al the financial uncertainties right now. But we are both gratefull for the effort to be present at our weddingceremony. As he said he would represent all our Australian friends!
And then we have two dear and long time friends from Holland, Floor and Els, who will arrive at Bangkoks International Airprort on the 20th. I will try to meet them at the airport myself and they will travell to Udon on the 21st by plane.

I myself will fly out to Udon on the 21st......
The collection of these friends when they start to arrive in Udon is something which needs co-ordination on Kiks part because he needs to direct the respectieve famillymembers and friends to drive out to the airport, which is a roughly 2 hours drive from his hometown.

People are travelling to Si Bun Ruang from all over Thailand and Laos as well for our wedding. But I only know more about those travelling from Phuket:
From Simon Cabaret a 9 person strong delegation of Kiks closest friends there will travell roughly 20 hours by buscoach from Phuket to Si Bun Ruang in North East Thailand. As I understood, more would have liked to come as well, but then the shows of Simon Cabaret might get compromissen and that is something not even considered for when the country is in national mourning!
They will be joined by the staff & friends of our bar(s) here in Patong Phuket and together they wil fill one busload of 24!

If one realises that this now one day affair requires the people from Phuket to take 5/6 days off from work, simply because of the time involved traveling up and donw the country in a buscoach! They will, by the way, also act as my family on our weddingday! Cool huh?!

Next to the Phuket delegation, also a delegation of 30 will come from Bangkok. Some I probably met in the last two years while being in Bangkok with Kik, but I will discover on the 22d/23d whom I met before, haha..... it wil be a colorfull event. Thats for sure!!
But all these people, and then I am not writing here about family and friends from Kik from Laos, because those are also coming, need a place to sleep, to eat before and after the weddingday itself... that all needs to be taken care off by Kik and his family.
So transportkation, sleepingaccomodations and food and drinks for I do not know howmany people need to be organised......
Watching all of this, I am simply happy that things are much more simple in Holland. And to think that Kik never expected to have to organise his own wedding, simply because that possibility never entered his mind before..... so never thought about it before!

Next to the transport challenge of all these guests, and their food, drinks and sleeping arrangement, there is ofcourse the day itself.......the 23d of November!

Kiks weddingjitters.....

Well, after my ‘ordeal’ before the 8th of October Dutch wedding, I now see how Kik is dealing with the preparations our Thai wedding! And I feel so sorry for him, specially because I can not support him because I am unaware of all the custos involved for a proper and correct organisator of the weddingceremony and party.
Like Kik didn’t want too much involvement with our Dutch weding because of lack of knowing what can and can not be done, I now take same position for same reason.
Ofcourse, like Kik, I now only try to support him as good as I can.

But what is planned sofar, as far as I know and understand from what Kik explained to me?
Originally the idear was to have a pre-weddingparty at Kiks hometown on the eve before the 23d, but, properly to Kiks relief, his Bhuddist Master in Bangkok adviced differently and so now we will have the weddingceremony on the 23d as planed and only a weddingparty afterwards on the same day.

Kik tried to keep it a somewhat ‘small’ affair for Thai standards, I know, but as far as I understood from him, he is quite unable to keep it ‘small’. Kik has ben surprissed about all the phonecalls he has been receiving since we returned to Thailand and even more when he came back from his retreat in Temple ( Monastry) in preparathion of our Thai wedding.
All this, combined with some post election troubles to take care off , made Kik deceide to return to his home town near Udon Thani on the 14th this month, after just having been home, here in Patong, for 3 days!
So he needed to go back to Si Bun Ruang to be able to fully focus on the weddingceremony and party.
Its also pretty hard to deal with a starting business and organising this wedding so we decided to split up again and Kik went back to Si Bun Ruang while I stay on in Patong Phuket and will follow on the 18th when I go to Bangkok to meet with weddingguests there, before I follow to Udon on the 21st!

When Kik arrived back to Patong bringing back a new set of weddingclothes, he also announced a total different set of clothes will be made for us for the weddingparty afterwards... so a little surprised I tried on my set , chanmpagne white Thai silk with delicate light blue accents, I realised thats just fro a couple of hours, haha. He also showed me the design for the weddingparty clothes, which wil be much more fantasy clothes because Kik enjoys showing his theater background. So I guess with time our clothes wil grow more extravagant on the 23d!

I also understood that tables will be set up for a minimum of 400 guests for drinks and food. And I learned that not everybody will be present same time... and that makes it maybe a little bit more easy for him.... or not?
Then all the guests need to get a small souvenir from our wedding..... He told me that he ordered around 700, believing that not verbod needed to get one, couples might do with one... well, am so curious to how all will go!!
Then there’s the music....

But most scared I am about what was announced by Kik just before our Dutch wedding, that I am supposed to sing something in Thai or any other langzame for these guests, well... once I start I hope they wil not run away... it has been a while since I last managed to sing a proper sounding song and could keep myself to the lyrics.... so I pray that I have eenoog inspiration and daring to produce something decent when the time is there to do my duty akkoorden to Isaan tradition!

Kik and I are now in daily contact with eachother and while talking on the phone I try to be as supportive as I can be........
And our new business, while they have to wait till after the wedding..... right now its closed anyway for 3 days due to a three day national mourning on the ocasion of the burial of the Kings elder sister in Bangkok, and it wil also be closed for 5/6 days due to our wedding.... so November will be a more or les lost month anyway from that point of view!

A journey ‘with’ Didi (9th/10th of October)

I must say, the thing I had been most worried about preparing for Thailand and the the planeflight to it, was Didi, my dog. She was going with us and I had no idear how it would be for her, how she would manage, would she be safe, and all those worries.
I had bought an IATA approved dogkennel of a size good for Didi and put one of her more lightweighted covers and dogbench in it so she would have something of home with her in her kennel. And remeber, she never had been in such close convined quarters during her life with me, so I guess she never was in something like that ever!

Well, one thing for sure: how many dogs can say they spent their bosses weddingnight with them in one room, and come to it, when we woke up the next mornng, in one bed...guess not many, haha..... and I assure you, she likes to stretch out big time when she gets the chance to lie down with me/us on such a comfi bed!!

But we were simply to tired to be bothered with it, so we granted her the receptiën. When we arrived the precieus night at the Sheraton Hotel on Schiphol Airport, we first started to read all the wellwish cards we had received and opened up the smal gifts our friends still bought us and figuring out how to bring all of that with us to Thailand. And ofcourse we papil counted the money our guests had brought with them for us. We asked unsympathetically for money, because that would be the handiest to bring with us to Thailand and we promissed to buy from it a good and long lasting memory of our weddingday in Delft! And so we will and as soon as we have we will try to let eveybody know in gratitude what has become our weddingmemorie from our dear friends in Holland!

Okay..back to the subject at hand!
We managed to get our two very heavy and large suitcases with an overload of handluggage as early as possible to the check in counter of China Airlines..together with Didi in her IATA-kennel. We had given Didi special pills provided by Kevin, the ‘animaldocter’ and son of one of my wittnesses, Albert van Gaalen. I had hide the pills in a sausage and some meat taken from breakfast...they went in in a blink of an eye, hha..the poor girl, she must have wondered what had hit her! But how happy I was I had floret the advice of drugging her a bit!!
Okay, at the check-in counter we were confronted with a rather large overweight in bagage, excluding Didi in her kennel!!
The bill to pay for that extra weight was such that on the spot I decided to use the special offer to upgrade us to First Class, which, for the both of us, would just be 2/300 euro’s more expensive then our original seats plus overweight, haha..because flying first clas we were allowed totally 80 kilo’s instead of 60, and we had in total allmost 80.
Then I was talld that our suitcases would not be allowed to weight more then 32 kg each!! Kik by that time was not feeling to well (We had, yes yes, I know, not clever but hey it was our weddingnight, drunk ¾ bottle of champagne given to us by the Hotel management the night before. And that, combined with the short night sleep, made Kik not being on his best. I, for that matter would have liked to join him but could not allow that.... poor me, haha).... so I left Kik and rushed down to the HEMA store at the Airport to purchase an extra small suitcase to put our excess weight in and as such bring al our suitcases within the 32 kg limit. The check-in guy helped us grately and gracefully I have to admit and accompanied us after check-in with Didi in her Kennel to the special "drop off" of her so she would be attended to in the appropriate manner. And so Didi dissapeared in front of us in an elevator with a special handler..... looking at me like “what our you doing now, leaving me like this all on my own” O dear, I felt so bad!!

To make a long story a tiny bit shorter... we went on the plane a couple of hours later and Kik and I experienced our first First Class experience, and I must admit, it was something I allways wanted to experience and could not think of a better moment then on our ‘honeymoonflight’ to Thailand, the country where Kik and I are going to try to build a good life together!!
The space we enjoyed, the sleep we could have on a trough flat bed annec chair was wonderkuil. As well as the food and everything else! Haha, if this is what 50+ means and married again, well, you will not hear me complain, haha!!

After arriving in Bangkok, and cathing our connecting flight with Thai Airways, we arrived in time at Phuket Airport and collected Didi, who, by the way, was pretty drugged still when we got her out of her Kennel after she was released to enter the country without any probleem!!
By the way, booking Didi on the Thai Airways fligt costed us only 1250 bath, which is roughly betwen 25 and 30 euro’s ( roughly 1 euro per kg) and a lot, a lot cheaper then her faire for the long flight from Amsterdam, which was 30 euro’s per kg, including the kennel!! Very sympatheticaly we were not charged for any overweight on this Thai Airways flight, bless their souls!

The wedding and the camera’s... (8th of October)

The 8th of October will stay burned into my memory as one of the most warm days I ever had the pleasure to enjoy. Warm not in the sense of temperature but of spirit!!
Kik and I enjoyed the day more then we can say. Not only because contrarie to expectations it was a most beautifull and sunny Octoberday but also because of all the people who came to wittness us being married at Cityhal of Delft, The Netherlands!
For us it has been a most glorious day we will never forget.
All of my family was present, my and Kiks wittnesses as well as all our friends from all walks of life. I felt specially blessed and lucky to see my ex husband and his husband as well as other former boyfriends/lovers present and truly enjoying this day with me and for me!! We felt very very rich indeed on this day! We were very happy to see friends from my (Robs) Rijswijk-period, politically and socially, as well as from the Delft liberals and the regional Hiv Organisation, the Delft Gay Association DWH, the Saterdaymorning group as well as the saterday late afternoongroup (saterdays were allways very good and warm days in that respect!). But also all my Masonic friends from the two Delft Lodges, friends from all over the country and my oldest friendsgroup, the “dinnerclub”, who, till last month, got together at least once every three months for at least the last 28 years!!
We were esspeciay surprised to hear from the “bode” who assisted the Registrar who married Kik and me, that the weddingroom was not only totally full, but that the doors had to stay open to give everyone a change to wittness our weddingceremony.. she said that according to them there were roughly more then one hundred and twenty people present where officially max 80 were allowed to attend.
We never kissed so many people on one day, I can assure you that!!!

As soon as we left the house on Oude Delft 147, and actuele it started also a little bit before that, camera’s were klicking all the time till well in our ‘reception/afterparty’ at Bebob’s. Now we only were responsible ourselves for only two, who, on our request made a photographic and filmrecord of our wedding...but we were very surprised by al the other camera’s we have seen that day! And as such we would like to hear from every persoon who made picture or films of our day and that we are given the opportunist to enjoy the results of their labour!!

Sadly though my own camera was misplaced at Bebobs and is since then missing, including all the pics made with it!! If anyone who reads this could inform him or herself about the whereabouts of my canon camera, I would be so gratefull. It is very hard to start asking questions about its whereabouts from Thailand, so maybe one of you readers might be willing to do so!!

Goes without saying that we like to thank all who attended our weddingceremony as well as the ‘afterparty’ for making our most special day even more special and appreciated!! You all made us feel the most richest guys on the world that day and we are most gratefull for that feeling, it was the best gift that could be given to us for our wedding as well as to me for my 50th birthday!!

Special thanks goes to my Master of Ceremonies, my nephew and godson Jeroen, who not only had to take care off everything going akkoorden to plan but also had to handle me not to want to be in control al the time. He did a most splendid job and let me truly relax and enjoy this most magnificent day

As soon as it is possible I hope to place the available pictures of our wedding on my google picasso sight for all of you to enjoy. I wil give due notice when they are placed for viewing!!

Serious catching up is starting for all of you to follow

This entry is written but its placement on my weblog is somewhat delayed due to the fact that I have not been able to connect my laptop to the internet till the day this and folowing entries are actuele placed on the weerloos thaidutchmarriage or mpgsadventures. I can only hope that when it finally happens the reader won’t feel overwhelmed by all the reading overed at once at the moment of placement on either weblog. Only curious when it wil be though.......BUT when you read it I will have succeeded, haha!
AND SLOWLY WILL START DOING SOME SERIOUS CATCHING UP FOR YOU!

Pffffffff, two suitcases and a 'kennel' for Didi

Left: can you imagine this lovely face behind 'bars'?

Thats what we packed today. The whole afternoon Wilma and her daughter Dominique came to the house to help iron and pack all that we wanted to take with us when we leave for Thailand this thursday!
And O dear, how little I wanted to bring with me, but how much a little turns out to be, haha... but thats what one gets if one plans to stay a way a really long time.
And ofcourse Kik also had his stuff to take with him... and he leaves with more then he arrived with, haha.... so much a like in some repects.
We had to make sure that we keep some space in our suitcases for our wedidngdresses to be put into, because wensday we plan to leave straight for the hotel, which will be opposite the airport on Schiphol, our Dutch National Airport.
Next to most of my summerclothing, a full dress toxido, swimming and sportswear, some shoes, etc, also some of my colourfull friends needed some space, as well some gifts. Kiks suitcase was filled up likewise, and more gifts, smells, etc.
I can only pray that the weight will not disturb the check-in lady at China Airlines counter too much though, haha... well, better make sure I am not forgetting my creditcards just in case.
And then we also have to bring the kennel in which Didi will be placed during the long flight to Bangkok....uhum, kind of 'behind bars', and mostly worrried about her and the fact that she will be all alone durting that long flight!! Hope she will be okay though!!

Well, after a while, the suitcases were packed and left with Wilma and her daughter to Amsterdam to be dropped of at the hotel on the airport. The hotel promissed me that the suitcases would be brought to our room as soon as the room came available though we most likely would arrive around midnight.

Tomorrow, or maybe allready tonight, we start collecting everything for our handluggage, haha... allready curious howmuch thats going to be ;-)

Oeps, a problem... or a challenge? The bankingcrises finally catches up with...ME??

Today one of of my two wittnesses called me. He had a problem. There's a chance that he might not be in time for the weddingceremony at cityhall. He felt pretty emberrassed to have to make the call to me at all, but, according to him, some things might be out of his hands if a certain situation is becomming such a major issue that he is forced to get personally involved.
Well, I told him, that if that situation might occur, he should perform his very best, get the whole thing over and done with well in time for Cityhall, and rush to Delft to be in time, even though it would mean only 'just'. And if worse came to worse, then we would have to improvise...... whatever that might mean ;-)

Now I thought that I would relatively get trough the present banking crises quite okay, without damages... and who knows even with some luck my finacial cards might fall in such a way that when all is over I can say: MMM, well done!
BUT this effect I never suspected to happen... and if it would not be that important for me right now I could actually laugh about it... and maybe I will, on wensday itself ;-)

So, now you wonder, who is this guy? Is he a CEO of a (major?) bank? Is he CEO of an insurrance company? A mortgagebroker... nope, nothing like that... and at this moment I think he's actually happy he's in the business he is in right now..

I will not reveal his name right now.... I only know that he really will try to be there, at Cityhall... When at the airport, or after, when I arrived safe and sound in Thailand and have again time to make new entries, I might more openly say who this mysterywitness might be.... haha, and he is also not in some kind of wittnessprotectionprogram, haha, at least not yet:-))

My master of Ceremonies was on the phone earlier... he's going to contact my Registrar to see what can be done if things go bad and he is unable to appear in time to do his duty. Now I never experienced such a situation as Registrar myself in all those years I did that really very cool and wonderfull job, but I have an idear how they might solve this potential 'problem'.

Let us all hope that nothing needs to be done and all can go ahead as originally planned. And that one is not getting punnished for asking a very long time friend who happens to occupy such a demanding and public job!!

The last saterdaymorning of the Gang of Three

Links: The Gang of Three, with KIk...... Kik on the left, Next Herman, Wil and Rob.

Every saterdaymorning, well, most saterdaymornings that is, Wil, Herman and I would meet for coffee plus whatever, at Boterhuis in Delft. may it be their terrace or indoors, saterday mornings we could be found there!!
While being there we would discuss Delft and national politics and whatever we would fancy!
These last two years we discussed allmost everything, from the crises within the VVD up till the bankcrises in the USA, the consumercrises, the awareness of the gays, etc etc etc. We were, better, we are a bunch of true sincere liberals who take an active interest in whatever happens in the world!! We're not allways present when a discussion takes place within our party, but that doesn't chance a thing... we are liberal!! And gues what: Its a damn good feeling!!
This saterday was the last time we meet this way... who knows when we'll meet again like this.. I hope soon, but simply impossible to tell right now!!